Wednesday, October 6, 2010
An Open Letter to Steve Tambellini Re: Shawn Horcoff
I don't know if anyone calls you Stevie, but I don't feel like we have to get formal. After all, I'm merely a fan, (not of you, don't get your hopes up) writing this in my parents' basement. But more to the point of this letter, did you forget your 'thinking cap' this morning when you strode into the Oilers management office, picked up the phone and said 'we've got our new captain?' I'm sure you were giddy as fuck. In a summer where you seemingly grew a pair and started handing pink slips left right and centre, you thought nothing could go wrong, 'I'm Steve F'in Tambellini, I'm King Shit' I'm sure was your mantra this off season.
But back to your office. When you picked up that phone, what went through your head? Did the thought ever cross your mind 'this guy was a MINUS 29 and BOOED, AT HOME by the fans at almost every opportunity last season, is this stitched letter on the front of his jersey going to rationalize his mind fuck of a contract?' was the answer to the voice inside whatever grey matter you have left 'yes?'
Look Steve, I get that half your roster should still be in Junior (cause they're young, some of them cause they still should be there, yes, Gagner.) and you need a 'leader' who isn't a 'young whippersnapper' and that after Jason Strudwick, your list isn't that long. But did you consider Dustin Penner? You wanna talk about a guy who's a good quote in the morning sports section? Penner for freakin Mayor. Maybe you just wanted to break the trend of 'absolute fucking plug' Captains? Sadly, you didn't really do that. I know you're thinking 'but Horc plays on the first line' yes, yes he does, good for you, you can read a depth chart. Ever thought 'where would he fit on an average NHL team?' If that answer is anything but 'first line centre' congratulations, your prize is in the mail. He also plays significantly more BIG numbers than your last captain did, as I wrote above, your last 2 captains have been either shut down defensemen or 6 minute a night guys. (remember when Doug Weight was captain..good times)
In closing, I'd just love to hear your thought process without using those lies of 'leader' 'hard worker' and 'great presence in the room.' Instead Steve, give us the truth. "I didn't want the last 5 years of his contract to be forgettable' 'I like to reward my worst players' 'Kevin Lowe made me do it.'
Your Blogging Buddy,